Little-Black-Angel on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/little-black-angel/art/Pancreas-34941943Little-Black-Angel

Deviation Actions

Little-Black-Angel's avatar

.Pancreas.

Published:
392 Views

Description

Yes ... this, is my reality ... I have to get insulin shots 4 or more times a day ... every day ... for the rest of my life ... been like this since the March 21, 1999 ... the same day my little brother turned 4 years old, i totally ruined it for him ... I can remember very little of that day or the few days before ... some of the things i do remember are that I couldn't get to understand some maths stuff, which was really strange cause maths has always been for me an easy subject, and got a really bad grade in a test ... I also can remember that the day before we where clebrating my little brother's birthday in advanced cause march 21 was a monday, so we had a family reunion the 20th, there was cake, cookies and sandwiches ... i can't remember when we sang the 'happy birthday' ... i can't remember the moment in which i accidentally broke a mug ... or when i cut my finger witha knife that night at dinner time ... i can't remmeber so many things ... it's weird ... i can't reamember much about the last days i was trully happy and a normal person ... the next day ... the 21st ... i was getting ready to go to school ... but i was feelling sort of sick, like dizzy and dehydrated ... i couldn't drink my milk cup, so mom made me drink it ... a while after that i threw up ... my big brother then gave me a cup with tea and lots of sugar ... ironic i know ... the as my mom saw that i wans't getting any better ... she called one of my aunts which works at the air force hospital and i was taken there ... when we finally got to the hospital i was semi-concient ... the next thing i remember is that i was put in a room and conected to machines, iv in both my arms and a doctor was asking me questions ... at that time i weighted 29 kg and was about 1.58 m tall ... they initially thought that i had anorexia or bulimia ... that was afterwards denied by a glucose test ... my glusoce blood level was at 750 or so, i was told that if my parents had waited just a couple more hours to take to the hospital i would have died, they said that if i had gone to school that day I would have died before lunch for sure, ... due to problem is the air force's pediatric wing i was taken to another place to Clinica Las Condes ... a privete hospital in which i was admited to the ICU and spent there the next 4 days ... i was then transfered to a room to be tought everything i needed to about this desease i was told i had ... Diabetes ... i was hospitalized for 8 days ... ones i was put in the room some family and friends visited me, gave me flowers and stuffed animal (which i still have) ... the a nurse and a doctor came to talk to me and my parents and explained everything to us ... the meds, controls and basiclly everything we had to know ... they gave my books, written instructions in case i forgot and also a glucose monitor ... at that time i really could realize how much my life had changed, all the responsabilities i was going to have to take and there was very little chance to do wrong, cause now my health was in my hands ... after i was discharged from the hospital i returned to school ... everyone petted me and asked me how was everything had been ... it was then when i started hating the sickness i have ... as the years passed i was admited I have been hospitalized about 8 times for cetoacidosis ... 1 in 2000, 5 in 2001, 2 in 2003 ... because i just screwed up with my treatment, refused to take it, cause i felt diferent and just didn't want to accept what i had and all the things i couldn't eat or do because of it ... I still think i haven't accepted it in a 100% ... i'll allway feel diferent and there are allway going to the things which make me remember that ...

I have learned some very great things because of this, like how much my fa,mily and friends love me, but i have also learned that if I do not take care of myself i will die before all of my friend do, even before my parents, that i risk having kidney malfunction, to damage in my eyes, nerveous system and basiclly in all my body ... it really sucks knowing that i will never be able to do certain thing or thinking of all the thing i won't be able to enjoy due tothis ... may sound stupid ... but i have asked myself, for the past 7 years ... Why me? ... why the hell i have this thing ... this sickness also made me re-think my beliefes ... i couldn't blame anydoby else but god ... I'm nowadays an atheist ... i lost most of my hope in life ... cause, why should i try to do something with it if i know that i could die really soon, tomorrow, next week, how nows ... but still something keeps me going ... probably the love of my family and friends ... i don't now ... or maybe that i just do not want to let go so easily ... i wanna fight this ... find a cure for this ... thats why i wanna be a doctor ... so that children to not have to go through the shit i had to go through ... I have been bullied, mocked and been told every nasty thing you can imagine related to suffering from diabetes ... and i trully do not think anybody deserves to pass through this, anybody ...

You don't have to like the pic, just read and think ...

PD: sorry for the spelling and stuff ... my english sucks ... >__<

Edit: changed the pic, the colors of the other one were horrible ... this one still sucks : p
Image size
660x500px 39.34 KB
© 2006 - 2024 Little-Black-Angel
Comments15
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
XDarkxKairiX's avatar
I take that stuff to...only i was 5 and i was there over christmas 1997.I had to be there atleast a week.